Some members in our community recently lost a shared love one, very young, and very suddenly. I think knowing these family members made this very real for others in the community who felt driven to do something in honor of her departed soul.
So we began a monthly women's gathering to learn Torah and inspire us. After going last night, it was evident that although many women came and perhaps enjoyed, wanting to commit for her sake, not many seemed to interested in what the speaker had to say or what it was he chose to learn with us. Now I can definitely understand that everything may pale compared to the loss and sadness felt by this woman's family members and so those women who felt that loss the most, may have been dissatisfied with this get together. And on the other hand, I think to myself that no class or deed will really satisfy the want and pain left behind after this loss and nothing anyone will say can help these ladies process this better.
We should however have in our heads that as long as whatever we are doing is done as a group, with more camaraderie, togetherness and sisterly love, in her honor, this will bring her pleasure from her seat in heaven and help continue the good work that she started in her community.
It is key that in whatever we do in her honor is done with a striving for more unity and love for G-d, His Torah and His creations. Many of us are probably wondering the question of "Why?" Why and How could such a thing happen and could G-d allow it to take place? No one has those answers and no one will have those answers. We can either chose to continue her strength and create a long lasting legacy in her honor, or not. We can still continue to question and challenge and lose faith sometimes, but the pain will never go away just by doing that. At least by adding in something good, one can know that there is something being accomplished that connects her to us.
I really hope that her good deeds and the fact that she no longer is here with her family will inspire me to do more and connect more with others and with myself in a more real way.