However, despite the fact that I may be a last minute charlie, the fact remains that Purim still hasn't happened yet. So let's talk about it!
Purim is really an awesome holiday. It can easily get swept under the carpet since it's close to Pesach and it's not a yom tov in the sense that you can drive and do work and stuff, just like Chanukah. But the story and customs of the holiday are fantastic!
To sum up:
Purim is the celebration of G-d's hidden Presence in everything. Esther is a Jewish woman who is chosen as the queen to the Persian King, Achashvarosh for her external and internal beauty. She keeps her identity as a Jewess hidden, until the right time when she reveals it to the King to save her people and reveal the wickedness of Haman. Now these stories sometimes seem so "back then" to me and I really do struggle to find the relevance in my every day life. Not someone else's life but my every day life with my kids, my boss, my job, my life. Right now, the only thing I can come up with is that G-d is always just around the corner, waiting for us to make the first move. I prayed to G-d recently to help me along my path of growth, that I was ready to make some changes and admit that I really suck in some things and need help. So according to what I'm saying, now I just have to believe it and try, right?! G-d I really hope you are going to answer me with some help here.
Let's face it! I have three little kids and it can be overwhelming!! It's really hard to admit to being wrong when I yell at my daughter cuz I can't handle something even though technically she is just being a normal 4 year old. It's hard to realize that I am failing her in that way. I'm not sure how I'm going to change and even though I know with my mind that I want to, it's a whole other ballgame to have that same desire in my heart.
I saw another mom in the library today with her 2 kids ages 3 and 18 months and she looked so worn out. She looked at me with my 3 kids and was shocked that they were all mine. She thought I was running a reading group!!! LOL. It just made me think, that if the things I write about help one other mom, or if I can read and then share things that inspire me from other moms, then it's soooo worth it. Us moms, we are so hard on ourselves. We have high expectations and sometimes perfectionistic tendencies. And even if we know it and hear that all the time, we say to ourselves that we can't change and that's just what we want and expect.
But, what if we can take one thing and go a bit easier on ourselves, realizing it's not sooo important, and then on the other hand, take one thing - NOT FIVE THINGS - to get better at, because that IS important. That's where the real challenge lies.
And I'm here to say, YOU CAN DO IT! AND SO CAN I!!!! :)